Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We had to coat check the pizza.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize