shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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