While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
a search helicopter?!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
