I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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