I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
