this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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