but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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