We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
