it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
thus making me awesome and them whores
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
