I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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