I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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