it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
