is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
