He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
