i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
