there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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