I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
