yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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