if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
