If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
