I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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