Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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