I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
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He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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