we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
