Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
