There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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