the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
