did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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