Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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