I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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