I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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