good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
