The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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