We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
