I want to have your abortion
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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