I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
