Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
