Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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