Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It's like God shit irony all over that family
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
