So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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