HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize