As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
