I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
