He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
