New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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