Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
