remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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