Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
