Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
