he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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