i don't like sucking hair
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
