also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
