if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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