It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
im on a boat
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