I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize