question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
